Welcoming a new month, the last before the final quarter of 2021 and inviting the season of spring.
Spring is the season we move from winter into. The sun shines brighter for longer throughout the days, and dawn symbolising a light at the end of the night. The dawn of a new day will always come, and with the sun's glorious presence she revitalises all that is. Bringing blossoming blooms, and the birth of the nature cycle with the season's soft colours representing hope, joy and growth.
Coming into this month I am having lots of conversations around a shift in pace and momentum and as always have created this mindset blog to inspire and motivate you to be accountable to your blossoming.
Walking into September with my head high and feet ready to carry me through this next chapter, I feel determined to take full advantage of my time.
I talked last month about reframing our perspectives and what I am about to share is something that I work through reminding myself from time to time.
Coming from working full time on a rotating roster for the last 7 years I have never had weekends. It was very rare that my Monday, was actually a Monday. More often then not my days off would land on Thursday's or Fridays.
My routine looked a little like this
Thursday - Off, chill out be lazy, eat what ever
Friday - I wanted to be productive... but TGIF?
Saturday - Work all day, eat out for lunch and dinner
Sunday - Work all day, eat out for lunch and scramble after work to do groceries for Tom's lunches on Monday.
I found myself wanting to achieve things like, eating well, training hard and saving money. and I would say things like "I'll start on Monday", and usually I could, until Thursday on my day off, when I wanted to enjoy my day, on Friday I would try catch up with everyone that I could, and Saturday I wanted to do something with Tom of an evening. I would always blow my budget and never got to prioritise my eating habits because 'it was the weekend',... for 4 days.
And then real life Monday would come back around and I would hate myself for not accomplishing anything, another week gone by and all I did was, work, and then make up for the time I had been working.
I used to catch myself saying things like, "you only gave yourself 3 days to accomplish anything", this would sometimes be nice, and sometimes this was passive aggressive, like "what did you expect?".
Until I thought about it from the perspective that giving myself 3 days a week to commit to my goals and dreams was ultimately only giving, my life, 3 days.
Those other 4 days I gave to my job and everyone around me that 'needed me'. I remember asking myself, "why does everyone else get the best of me?". The idea that I was giving 70 percent of my life to something that I couldn't see as quality, made me sad. So sad.
Why could I make sure that lunches and dinners were organised for Tom's working week, and I would prioritise mine last because my work schedule was all over the place?
Every week I would make promises upon promises to myself that this Monday was going to be the Monday that I would commit to 5 full days of effort, and every week I would be upset that I could only get 3.
When I asked myself these hard questions, I decided the answer was to take control of my life.
I gave myself permission to make Mondays my Monday. If I didn't want work to be my life then I needed to stop living life around work, and instead view work as an accessory to my life.
I wanted to create a 'Monday' experience in my own life, equivalent to the effort level I would put in to create a 'Monday' at work.
Sometimes I find myself slipping back into this mentality of organising Tom and I's lives around both of our work schedules, and feeling like we do nothing but work... well deeeerrrrrrr...
With September and spring bringing us back into the light, encouraging us to create and play, most of us will channel this into productive energy. I am challenging you to reframe your perspective around your weekly routine and consider where you can own your life. Chanel your productive energy into your daily routine.
If you don't want your days to be arranged around someone else's schedule, then find ways to make your days your own again.
What does a Monday represent for your household? First day of the week, clean clothes, lunches and dinners organised, house tidied...
I am asking you, specifically what do you do on a Monday to set up the people in your life?
Now consider this, what do you do to set up your Monday?
If it still hasn't clicked for you, what do you do on the weekend to ensure that everyone, 'gets a weekend'?...
What can you do, for you, that would make it feel like, YOU, got a weekend?
I hear often things like, 'maybe I'll do that one day', or, 'I wanted to do that but didn't ever get around to it', and I can bet you can relate to the sad feeling when you come to the realisation that that opportunity you were waiting for has been and gone.
Make this month the month you decide to change the way you look at your time and find ways to make it your own again. If you want to walk the dogs and no one wants to go with you... walk them anyway.
If you want to watch a movie that you're interested in, watch it. Have showers by yourself more often, make the time to lay YOUR week out on a Sunday. Take your days back and make them yours by scheduling them in, commit to yourself.
If you are going to live life on your terms you better get comfortable being around yourself.
In the beginning when you start to shift the perspective of your time and how you view your week, you will start to notice how much of your schedule is spent based on outside factors. To really be committed and follow through with ownership of your life you will have to stand firm in what you do and need to do things alone.
Not all of us can spend time in our own company right away, it is somewhat of a skill to be able to be content with just yourself. I want you to understand that it is perfectly ok to not feel familiar with yourself, we spend so much time caring for and feeling for other people we can detach from our own feelings of needing care.
5 Tips on spending time alone
Don't give up right away. Be committed.
Use music to comfort you at first and then softly fade the volume down to nothing.
Affirm your entitlement to be on your own, "I give myself permission to spend time alone in this moment."
Having a conversation with yourself aloud isn't crazy. You can talk about the deep stuff to; it's nice to be heard.
When it becomes too uncomfortable, thank yourself for the time. Give yourself permission to leave free from judgement regardless of how much time you spent alone.
Self Care Challenge
This month's self care challenge is based around spending time alone and encouraging the ownership of your life. Throughout the next 30 days the challenge is to look for opportunity of ownership of yourself and spending time in your own company.
Being able to spend time on your own is a superpower.
Alone time increases empathy
Solitude increases productivity
Builds mental strength
Opportunity to rationalise
Here's a list of all the things you could try doing to spend time alone:
Walking, no talking, music, podcasts etc.
Driving, no talking music, podcasts etc.
Doing the dishes with no music or tv
Tidying 'your' space (bedroom, office, bathroom, cupboards) no distractions
Yoga/stretching no music, podcast, tv etc.
Remembering that this is a challenge, the intention is to hold yourself accountable to your life.
In previous months I have made these reflections goal focused, this month I really want you to understand how you feel about being in your own company.
Reflections are a way to check in on yourself. How you answer these questions is completely up to how honest you want to be with yourself. No one is going to read your answers.
I encourage to write all your answers down. Even if they are only bullet point answers to begin with, then go back through and start to write the conversation of thoughts.
How do you feel about being alone with your thoughts?
Why do you think you feel that way?
When seeking company, what are you hoping to feel?
If feelings are a reaction within our self first before evolving into an experience; what feelings are you holding back within yourself?
What are the best feelings you have had to date and what were you doing/who were you with?
What did these experiences have in common?
What were some of the best feelings you had in August?
What did these experiences have in common?
How do you want to feel in September and how can you create them?
What experience and feelings are you going to create on your own first?
Girl and Her Moon
Wise Words from Abdawwg
This is your life, and it becomes yours when you take ownership.
Own your life, it is the only one you have.
Own it like it’s yours.
Life is an actual gift.
The life you live is the gift you give your soul.
Thank your experiences. Your feelings. Your perspective.
Thank your nose for the air you breathe.
Your eyes for the world you see.
Thank the tongue that speaks the language of your soul, thank your heart for spreading the love through your body.
Thank, you, for living everyday. ✨
If you want to take your Mindset to a different level this month, I have attached a FREE pdf work book for you to download.
I love this space and am so excited for what September has to bring. With 2 virtual moon party dates, 2 in person moon parties and opening my October Calendar for bookings you have more opportunity than ever to answer the calling. I am always open and welcome the connection with new people into this magnetic space.