Last Month's Mindset Blog I talked about setting my year up for success by using January as a warm up month. To use the first month of the year to consider, implement and practice meeting new needs of my own through setting weekly non-negotiables around being organised, based off of my life balance.
Going into February, whether you used January as a warm up or you are starting your yearly goals now, it is time to put our heads down and start putting in some ground work on our 2021 visions.
Nothing worth doing is easy has always been a quote that I didn't love until I thought about it from a different perspective;
Anything worth doing is hard.
Before starting your month I recommend going to the FREE Monthly Mindset Download and working through some of the reflection questions to help gain some clarity on what you want to work on or prompt a conversation that allows you to visualise an everyday version of your life that has your feeling just a tiny bit more fulfilled.
What does feeling a tiny bit more fulfilled look like and what what would it take for you to feel this way?
We create our reality and our world with our perspective; this month, I am encouraging you to look for openings and opportunities to feel more fulfilled. Practice being in the moment and seek fulfilment.
What does that actually mean to you and how does that feel?
What is working and what is not working? What do I do about it?
In reference to last month's blog about setting non-negotiables and improving certain categories of our life to gain more balance, I want you to ask yourself how you did.
Were your NN's too easy? Did you you complete them regularly if at all? Which ones do you feel you benefited from?
Get into the mindset that you are actually in control of your outcomes and the little actions you take each day, you do have an actual choice in when, who, where and how you carry out your day.
If last month was a practice, be honest and ask yourself what are you going to commit to completing this month that would make it better than the last.
Here are the steps I go through when shifting into drive mode on my goals, commitments and non-negotiables, and what I encourage you to do for February.
Ask yourself all the questions you need to, do what it takes for you to get into a state of productivity and constructive criticism.
- TAKE CONTROL
You decide what you do, don't do, what you repeat and what you add to your everyday actions. Decide.
- SET NEW GOALS
If what you are doing isn't working in alignment with your vision of life, take accountability and set new goals or actions that will fit into what you are working to create.
- GET SPECIFIC
Don't just come up with something for the sake of it and then tell yourself you'll figure it out later when you actually do it. If you were going to do something, get specific on what it is that you would do.
- WRITE IT INTO A SENTENCE
If you are struggling to get past a bullet point of an action that you want to implement or something that you want to achieve, write it out into a proper sentence. Practice writing it like a contract 'I am going to...'
- SHCEDULE IT IN
We can all talk the talk but can you walk the walk? When are you actually going to complete your actions? Be realistic and schedule it in.
- COMMIT TO TURNING UP
Everything is already done. The hard part is over because you legit know everything that it takes to work towards your life vision, so turn up loud and on a mission.
- STAY ACCOUNTABLE
Check in with yourself regularly and take note of how often you are completing/ not completing your NN's.
If you think convincing yourself you are capable of your dream is hard, wait until you try getting your support systems on board.
Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic. We've all been there though, where we have this BRILLIANT idea, we take it to our friends, family, partners, who ever, they hit us with a heap of questions we can't answer and take all the wind out of our sails.
Completely, and not always intentionally, tearing away our hope that our dream could be a reality.
What if I told you that you can control how they respond to you?
By now you know where you want more balance and what life has to look like for you to have it. Let me help you by using this blog to inspire you to use your support system for encouragement and to hold space for your hope.
So here's what I have tried, tested and continue to do to use my support system for actual support and inspiration.
Take them out of your everyday environment.
Think back to any staff meetings, sport trainings or rehearsals; when they were not in your regular space you were able to access your true potential. Give the person the same opportunity by taking them out of their space.
No one will believe in you like you do. Lead by example and by showing up and not letting them second guess the level you are on.
I am going to stereotype here, but typically men's first reactions are to 'fix' something. So if you approach them with an idea or dream, they want to know how it's going to happen and they will pull it apart to look for things to 'fix'. This isn't totally their fault because it is in their nature and anybody who cares about you is going to want to 'fix' things for you. So use it to your advantage by having all the answers to their questions.
Who, what, when, where, why and how. If you can answer all of those then any questions they do have for you, allow it to be an opportunity of learning on your behalf.
Do your research. Get clear.
Use the practice of answering your own questions to be clear and gain clarity on what you want to accomplish.
If you are going to need help; be specific.
If you are going to need their help to carry out your dream be specific on what you need their help for. Establish yours and their boundaries.
Be open to suggestions and take them on a dream journey of their own.
Remember that by the time you have taken this idea to them you have probably rehearsed your pitch a thousand times, so let them dream on your dream for a minute by seriously listening to suggestions and sharing your visions together. Let them feel heard.
Don't get stuck on disagreeing over the small things.
In the grand scheme of things, life is so unpredictable the vision of your accomplishment will change 100 times before it is completed, so don't get caught up on different views on the things that will probably change anyway.
If you want someone to believe in your dreams with you, you have to give them a reason to. Practice what you preach, and turn up. They might not always believe you right away but they will not be able to deny nor refuse to support your growth and commitment if you continually turn up.
If someone isn't supporting you after you have laid all of this out for them, remember that your why is always for you. Ultimately you do you boo.
This month I am working to openly sharing my dreams more and inviting this to open the way for new possibilities, to collaborate with others' dreams and gain deeper perspectives on my overall visions.
Each month I like to set a self care challenge, something that lets me know at the bare minimum when I do my reflection question of 'what was 1 thing you did for yourself?', well completing these challenges are that for me.
This month's challenge for us all to do, is to practice NOT falling asleep to a screen. Ultimately I want to work towards not using my phone at all before bed. I can't tell you how many times I have dedicated 20 minutes before bed to not use my phone or to not use a screen and then I take my phone to bed and before I know it I have forgotten this terrible habit and find myself scrolling.
So to work towards that goal of not using it at all before bed, I am starting by not falling asleep to a screen. I want to decide to go to sleep before my eyes get heavy watching a movie or scrolling insta consistently every night this month.
You're challenged too so now you have to join me 😉
Going into February, I am working to making my dreams come true. January was a warm up, I have said this, and this month I am ready for action.
This doesn't always have to mean the extreme to that. I want you to set yourself up for action as well but in a way that supports you when you lose hope in your vision. That is when the action counts.
When we start to make changes it becomes uncomfortable and our quickest defence is to retreat to original ways. Action on that. Know that you are your 2nd month in, whether you are setting up this month as the 1st or not, expect it to be hard.
Growth is hard. Staying the same is hard.
Anything worth doing is hard.
Choose your hard.
Have a great February!
All we can do is try; so we have to try everyday.
You deserve it